The Dog Needs A Girlfriend

The dog needs a girlfriend.

 

I’m covered again in slobber,

Not a dry spot on my head.

It’s on my ears and all over.

He’s in my space again.

Mum, I think it’s time,

For you sort this problem.

He needs help, poor guy.

The dog needs a girlfriend.

 

It’s not that I don’t love him.

But how do I explain?

He gets under my skin.

He’s at it all bloody day.

Hell is a slobbery dog kiss.

The torture never ends.

Mum, you’ve got to stop this!

The dog needs a girlfriend.

 

When all I want is peace

So I can close my eyes.

He just won’t leave me be.

I’ve nowhere I can hide.

We’re family, a gang, a pack.

But I cannot pretend

To love the dog, not like that.

The dog needs a girlfriend.

 

So for the sake of unity

Between canine and feline,

For the sake of my sanity

Mum, please, I think it’s time,

Before I sound my warning hiss

And sink my molars in again,

I can’t reciprocate his bliss.

The dog needs a girlfriend.

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